Dr Kristopher Lovell

I am working from home and am simultaneously extremely grateful to still have a job, whilst also stressed and anxious by working full time whilst it seems the world is literally falling apart. I feel I should be doing something- about COVID, about BLM, about Me Too but am sat at home all day working as normal. The only difference is not being in an office to do the work. It is frustrating that for me, work continues whilst everything else has ground to halt- I am no longer allowed to do any activities I enjoy. Even though I have a job where I actually do have a visible impact on people’s lives, and often receive thanks from people I have helped, it still just seems a bit pointless in the grand scheme of things.
I have also had some pangs of jealousy- My furloughed friends and families have been taking the time to learn, better themselves, protest and have days sunbathing in the park, whilst I hunch over my laptop in the corner of a darkened room. My boyfriend’s employer is making up the final 20% of the furlough scheme so he has been on full pay, whilst not doing any work for 3 months now. He has loved the freedom and break from the grind, and has been taking the time to relax and do things he enjoys but which ordinarily he might not have time for. I work for the same place, and am having to work full time in order to receive my full pay. I feel bad for not being completely and utterly happy and grateful to still have my job.